So we get checked in and everything is working well on its own. A new Midwife comes on board and suggests we do cervadil to see what happens. A few hours later it comes out, and I am still around 4/5 cms. They suggest we rest because and let my body do its own thing. Unfortunately, this is when I start to let my head play its own games and start comparing this to Aveline. It was midnight and Collier and my mom were resting and I just kept having this argument with myself that I shouldn’t be sleeping I should be moving and trying to get this baby to come down. So we set an alarm and decided that at a certain time I want to say 3am, we would start moving around again and seeing what we can do. This is where I think I should have just started the Pitocin. Atleast a low dose. Instead, I just kept laboring.
Around 5am we were getting closer, around 6 cm. The midwife broke my water….like 4 times I think? She said I had a ton of fluid. And then around 9am we were at 7cm with a new midwife. I decided to start Pitocin (lesson learned from Aveline….we waited 6 hours stalled at 7cm before doing piticon and a few hours later she was born) We get to 9cm around noon! Still no meds. Finally they check and the baby’s head has moved. WHAT? lol I am pretty sure this is where my mental strength starts to weaken and I am starting to lose hope. We move into about 28 different positions to get the baby to move. We finally get to 10cm and his head is no where to be seen. This is around 1pm. The midwife suggests getting an epidural and seeing what she can do manually with her arm. So I remember back to my research and remember that my little sister had a similar thing happen and she still have a great birth.
So we get the epidural, Collier and I get 30 minutes alone. I rest a little bit because the midwife had another delivery. Which is fine with me! It was kind of the calm before a storm. I knew when she got back we were going to be racing a clock to try and push this baby out. When she got back, she tried. With no success. She called the OBGYN on call and she also had no success. The OBGYN knows my wishes and told me I could have a few hours to try and push on my own. So I took this as we are going to make this happen. We go back to trying every position known to God. We used bars, and balls, and all kinds of things I had read about. I pushed for 3 + hours. The OBGYN came back in and no change. I was crushed. I gave in to a C-section. She reassured me that this was not the end of me giving birth vaginally in the future. She said this was just a little hiccup.
We sign the papers, she wrote that I pushed as hard as I could for 3+ hours to make me laugh. LOL. I guess I was pretty upset. I cried, my mom cried. I basically was grieving the fact I wasn’t going to have an easy recovery.
We went to the OR and it started right away. The OB was telling me to wait 9 months after this baby to get pregnant again and she would personally make it her goal I could have a VBAC. (Yes, most of my conversation during this birth was about a VBAC.) Finally, they ask what do we think it is….we both say another girl. And I said if it’s a boy, just maybe not a redhead. Well she pulls out a baby BOY and with very light hair. Collier and I just started crying. We just couldn’t believe it was a boy. The doctor said oh I think he weighs about 9lbs. And I didn’t think much of it, because Aveline was 8lbs. They take him to weigh him an they scream 10lbs 6oz and everyone cheered. LOL It was the weirdest moment. Of course then I start shaking and ask them to take the baby because I feel like I am going to drop him. I just kept saying in my head….we have a boy. I don’t know what to do with a boy.
We go to recovery, and we are the last ones for the night, so we ask with our moms can come in. We got to tell them both that we have a son and announce his name. His name means so much to us. Its Collier’s grandmothers maiden name, and Millican is the last name of the founder of UCF, a man we truly admire and loved. We then called Aveline who was being watched by my father in law and got to tell her! And then we called my dad and sisters and Collier’s brothers. Actually, because Gina was headed into work I think she may have been the first call? I can’t remember. We also called Collier’s grandma which was fun! And my grandpa, who loved his name. He said it was a strong name!
Again, I was dreading this recovery. LOL I just remember giving my big sister a sponge bath basically at 3 days postpartum. I just knew it was going to suck. And let me tell you, it totally did. I remember the first night, Collier was asleep and the baby was getting fussy and wanted to eat, and the nurse had moved the bassinet too far from the bed when she did her last vital checks. So I couldn’t reach the baby and felt bad waking up Collier to hand me the baby. Or taking the pain meds instantly made me fall asleep and I just felt so scared I would drop the baby. Or not being able to pick Aveling up for what seemed like eternity. It was just hard and not fair.
The baby also had jaundice. I was given the option to pump and nurse as much as possible, or give formula. Well a quick google search shows nursing as much as possible can really help jaundice numbers. So that’s what I did and within 24 hours he was almost to normal. We had to stay an extra day because of that, but we finally got to go home on Saturday, April 28th.
It was a whirlwind, and sad, and happy, and frustrating and all of the emotions possible. So many things I wish I would have done differently. But at the end of the day we had a healthy baby and a healthy mom.